Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Boy Wonder: Professional Musician 35

Day 34 - April 14th 2009

This has got to be the worst hotel we’ve stayed in so far. As I moved downstairs to partake in the free I saw the owner kick like six crack heads out of the hotel. All I kept hearing in a thick (what I think was a) Pakistani accent “This food is for registered gueeeessssts” It was weird. As I was done eating I had a familiar feeling albeit rare in the morning in the hotels we stay in. I had to shit like nobody’s business. Guys were in the shower and the hotel had no public bathroom. When he came out I burst through the door and copped a squat.

Fifteen minutes passed by and I flush, I knew then we had a slight problem. The toilet wouldn’t flush. I tried again and nothing doing. I had to go to the front desk to get a plunger. My band mates were embarrassed for me but I didn’t really care. When you live in the inner city sometimes piping and water in toilets are the greatest and you have to plunge a toilet. Besides when you eat lightning you crap thunder and sometimes thunder gets stuck.

I got the plunger which was inside a plastic bag. When I took it out water kinda went everywhere it was pretty gross but I got the job done and we headed out. Truth be told I was kinda happy to get out of Kansas City. Not a whole lot goin on here from where I was standing.

We headed towards Norman, Oklahoma and we played TV Theme Song trivia on the way. Dan had a bunch of them on his Ipod. Morgan owned the game for the most part but I did guess the theme from Small Wonder (I was hot for Vicki the robot) and Denver the Last Dinosaur…my childhood ruled supreme. As we exited to go to a rest stop I was pleased to feel warm weather against my skin. Now we can start behaving like civilized people again. When I turned my ipod on a big red X came on the screen which made me unhappy. So I ended up watching the original Transformers movie on my laptop. Even after the 513th time that movie kicks ass and is far superior to the Live Action Franchise.

I hit the internet and saw a few offers for shows as well as emails from friends. I’m excited to be going home and resuming my own life and career. But first I must rock Norman with the Camaro.

We pile out of the van and go inside of the Oopolis I noticed a lot of cats on the wall, I guessed Oopolis was some sort of euphemism for pussy. Someone at the club confirmed it for me but I had the sneaky suspicion she was screwing with me. I used the free time I had to walk around and play my favorite tour game, find a black person. Whenever we pull into a small town I like to wander around until I see a black person then I go back to the venue. Norman now holds the record. I walked around for 53 minutes before I saw one of my own people. We’re officially everywhere.

I have to say that I really liked this little town. It was quiet, clean, and the people seemed real laid back and friendly. A place I could retire to once my rock and roll days are behind me. Very artsy town, lots of theatres and performing arts spots. I figured I’d be able to find some throat coat tea here, surely a town like this would have a store pansy enough to carry it….denied. Although they did have slippery elm lozenges which I bought quite a few cases of.

When I got back we sound checked. The monitor situation was dicked. But the place was small so I figured it’s gonna be packed and the show would be awesome. Boy were we in for a treat.

The audience spent most of the show with their arms folded clapping in between songs. This was an East Coast crowd. They were listening and watching, deciding whether or not they dug it, they weren‘t going to just give it to us, we were going to have to earn it. There were a few exceptions, there was an older blonde woman who seemed especially excited about Alex’s guitar playing. I got a lot of compliments as I moved through the crowd, we also singed a few autographs, so it looks like people had a good time, I also got a lot of dirty looks from people. It’d be easy to blame the crowd but they paid good money to see us, so I wonder what I could have done differently to make the performance better.

It became apparent the crowd was there to see Electric Six and they brought it hard. The people loved it. When it was over I went to sleep in the van, something that I will begin doing when I tour in the future. Resting your body is really important. Especially if you don’t wanna get sick.

Dan beasted it on the road and drove two hours so that we would be four hours away from Austin for the show tomorrow. We pulled up at a hotel and there was plenty of room for my air mattress. I stole a pillow and went to bed….yeah.

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